Dear Santa: We are writing on behalf of our client, Matt, who may or may not have met your criteria for presents, gifts, toys, etc. As to whether Matt has been “naughty or nice” this past year, we find this criterion to be somewhat arbitrary, subjective and completely vague. For example, for every 10 people…
When I was young and still single my family would insist that I bring “someone” to Thanksgiving dinner. (Now I just bring good wine and lots of it so I can drink all day since I have to spend it with family.) I think that was my family’s not-so-subtle way of trying to figure out…
Halloween is upon us and that means candy! Uhm, uhm, good. Here’s a list of my 10 favorite Halloween candies. Apparently, I have a wicked bad sweet tooth. Peanut M&MsMounds BarReese’s Peanut Butter CupsSnickers100 Grand BarMilky WayMr. GoodbarButterfingerTwixKitKat Sugar is so prevalent in our society that a song (“Sugar, Sugar”) was even written about it…
Sometimes in the heat of an argument I like to use old slang words just to mix it up. Here are a few of my favorite good old fashion slang words and how they came about. Some are really old-fangled and you whippersnappers may think this is just a bunch of gobbledygook. So, don’t get…
Do you ever hear a song that reminds you of a place, time or person in your life? Not necessarily because those songs are that person’s favorite songs, but because they reflect certain attributes of that person which we either love or hate. I’ve put together a short list of songs that make me think…
Lately I have noticed an unusual number of squirrels scampering around my yard. A whole lot of them. Now I am not sure that the population density of squirrels in my yard is necessarily more significant than similarly situated yards in my neighborhood, but there just seems to be way too many squirrels around this…
One of my favorite sci-fi films is the classic 1973 movie Soylent Green starring Charlton Heston. The movie takes place in the year 2022 when overpopulation, pollution and climate change have caused severe worldwide shortages of food, water and housing. Not such an unrealistic premise given where we are in 2020. Charlton Heston stars as…
As some Bruce Springsteen fans (who also attended Catholic school) know, some of Bruce’s songs are influenced by his Catholic upbringing. Perhaps people would enjoy attending mass if the hymns were written by someone like Bruce Springsteen. So that got me thinking about existing Bruce songs that could be converted (get it!) to hymns. …
Oh, God! That’s right, ‘The Almighty’, ‘The Supreme Being’, ‘The Divine One’, ‘The Big Guy Upstairs’, or my favorite, ‘Morgan Freeman’ from the movie “Bruce Almighty”. God would like to relay the following message to the readers of The Welcome Matt: “You’re going to die eventually. Deal with it. Cleanup your act now while there’s…
Two weeks ago the East Coast of the U.S. experienced the wrath of Tropical Storm “Isaias”. This was the second Tropical Storm to make its way up the East Coast of the U.S. in the past month. Here in the New York metropolitan area my favorite meteorologists – Dr. Tempest and Dr. Squall heralded the…
