As some Bruce Springsteen fans (who also attended Catholic school) know, some of Bruce’s songs are influenced by his Catholic upbringing. Perhaps people would enjoy attending mass if the hymns were written by someone like Bruce Springsteen. So that got me thinking about existing Bruce songs that could be converted (get it!) to hymns.
For example – “Born to Run (with Jesus)” – would go something like this:
In the day we sweat it out in our boats on the sweltering Sea of Galilee,
At night we listen to stories of God’s glory told by His only son Jesus,
Sprung by the Messiah from our retched existence,
Pontius Pilate keeps putting down the Jewish resistance,
Judea is a death trap a suicide rap,
Someday soon we’re going to get to God’s kingdom,
But till then apostles like us,
Baby we were born to run with Jesus.
Well something like that anyway. OK, how about the “Streets of Jerusalem” – which would go something like this:
I was bruised and battered with a crown of thorns on my head,
I was carrying a big heavy crucifix to my death,
People even spat on me while I tripped,
The Romans are going to nail me to this cross,
And not even God my Father can save me from dying for your sins,
On the streets of Jerusalem.
Yes, I’m definitely not scoring points with my religious readers. So why not continue . . . the bastardization of Bruce songs that is in the name of religion with – “Alleluia, Glory Days”:
I had a friend who was known as the Savior and His name was Jesus of Nazareth,
He could preach all day to you and make you feel like a blasphemous fool,
Saw Him the other night after He rose from the dead,
I sat down to have a few drinks to calm my nerves,
But all He kept talking about was,
Glory Days – God will pass you by,
Glory Days – you must repent your sins right away,
Glory Days, glory days,
Alleluia, glory days.
And last but not least, my personal favorite – “(No Belief) No Surrender”:
We busted out of mass had to get away from those priests,
We learned more by attending CCD then we ever did in church,
Tonight I hear Billy Graham preaching on the TV,
I can feel my head start to pound real deep,
You say you’re sick and tired of being a Catholic and just want to be Hebrew,
But you were once baptized and the church will always remember,
You’re a Christian with no belief but who can’t surrender,
Like those who were forced to convert by missionaries long ago,
You have no belief but you still can’t surrender.
Uuhmm . . . well maybe Bruce won’t be writing any church hymns anytime soon but you never know. It could happen. And I’m just a little bit closer to going straight to hell.
Copyright 2020 “The Welcome Matt”