General

Ninja Squirrels

Lately I have noticed an unusual number of squirrels scampering around my yard. A whole lot of them. Now I am not sure that the population density of squirrels in my yard is necessarily more significant than similarly situated yards in my neighborhood, but there just seems to be way too many squirrels around this…

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General God

Oh, God!

Oh, God! That’s right, ‘The Almighty’, ‘The Supreme Being’, ‘The Divine One’, ‘The Big Guy Upstairs’, or my favorite, ‘Morgan Freeman’ from the movie “Bruce Almighty”. God would like to relay the following message to the readers of The Welcome Matt: “You’re going to die eventually. Deal with it. Cleanup your act now while there’s…

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